renee_faith

IM WAYYYYYY open for anything anoyone has to say about it.
I know its got some rough spots.
Sorry it took me so long.



The Definition of Lost
“Hello?” She answered the phone. She wasn’t really in the mood for people ever since Tomas threw his little fit after school.
“Hey what are you doing?” It was Tomas.
“What do you want?”
“I want to apologize.” He said.
“Yea. Okay why?” She wasn’t really paying any attention to what he said. Something like I didn’t mean to. Blah, Blah, Blah.
“Dang it!” she yelled out of absolutely nowhere. Thinking to herself great, now he knows I wasn’t paying attention.
“What is wrong? Did I say something?” He was worried and she could tell.
“Oh no, I just wrote something wrong on my homework. Sorry continue.”
“Well and I just wasn’t happy” His voice carried on. She went back thinking about things. Do I really love him? It seemed like it, but he took advantage of her like crazy. She came back to the conversation.
“Baby, I love you” He was very convincing.
“I love you too. Hey I got to go”
“Ummm” He was confused and sounded very hurt. “Bye” She said hastily. She was getting tired of him and she knew he knew.
Her dad called her in the other room.
“Coming” She yelled hiding her anger and pain “Yes?”
“I just got home from work get me a beer.” He was a doctor at the finest hospital in Jersey. Days were long and nights were crazy. Parties every other night.
“Why are you just standing there?!” He yelled. Pushing her into the wall as he walked by. She had had enough. She went back into her room and slammed the door praying that he wouldn’t follow. She looked at her face in the mirror.
“Ill be seeing you Beautiful.” Banging on the door her dad yelled “I can’t believe you slammed that door!” Tears began to fall.
He stomped in. “Why are you crying!” he yelled.
He gave her a blank stare. She looked at him and then the mirror. Her make-up was already smeared down her face. She moved her hand to her face and moved closer to the wall. He was still yelling when he pushed her. She tried to get him off of her. Her nails scratched his face.
“Stop it! You little witch!” He yelled
She looked around her room thinking there had to be something to make him stop. She looked back at him. Tears were still falling down her face. He grabbed her wrists and twisted her hands back yelling “Next time you’ll do what I tell you to! Wont you?”
“Get off me!” she yelled “No! I won’t!”
He looked at her up against the wall. He moved his hands to her neck and had lifted her up off the ground.
“You’re just like your mother! So Stubborn!” She looked at her dresser again. The hairspray she thought. She picked it up trying not to make and sudden movements. She felt his hands loosen and his eyes got weak and watery. He began to let her go. She fell to the ground. She was so confused. She thought he would kill her for sure. He took one last look at her and walked out of the room. She was still lying on the floor. Crying she couldn’t get over the fact she was still alive. Her face fell to the floor. She was crying and started to whisper I have to leave. As much as she didn’t want to she called Tomas. The phone rang and there was no answer “No not now!” She yelled. Threw her phone at the wall. Hugging her waist. The phone lit up and it started to ring. She hurried and grabbed it. “Hello, Hello!” She mumbled. Her breath was all out. Her throat felt like it was closing up. It was Tomas in a depressed voice he said “You called” He sounded so dull.
“Can I come over?” She said “You know spend the night” the line got quiet.
“Umm Yeah, You okay?”
“Ill tell you about it when I get there.”
“Okay” he said confused. “Love you.” She replied.
She hung up the phone and packed her clothes for tomorrow. Put them out the window and got her keys. She went into the kitchen. She got a beer out of the fridge and, took it into the living room. When she entered the room she heard sobs. He was laying his head on the table. She put the beer on the table and said “Ill be at a friends” and left.
Tomas lived about 10 mins away. When she drove up there was a car she had never seen before. All of a sudden the car started, and the windows rolled down. It was a blond girl. Wait she thought. Lindsey? Lindsey was his ex-girlfriend. She smirked and drove off. Tomas opened his house door and the lights were dimmed way down low. She looked at his face. It was blank. He walked out with a look that said he was sorry.
“Macy, baby! How are you?”
“Not so good Tomas.”
“Why what’s wrong?”
“Besides the fact that your ex-girlfriend was here, I just wanted to be with you.”
“Don’t give me that Macy!”
“What do you mean? Give you what?” she yelled.
“That! Like you think I’m cheating on you. When you’re the one blowing me off!”
“I never blew you off! Your stupid temper started it all!” She leaned against her car and threw her head in her hands. “I want to be with you Macy!” He said “Only you.”
“Then why would the lights be dim?”
"What do you mean?! I can’t believe this!"
"What? That you’re cheating on me? Me either!" He began to yell "I’m not cheating on you! What don't you understand? Are you really that stupid?" She fell to her knees and began to laugh.
"Why are you laughing?" he said angrily. Nothing came from her mouth just laughing
He grabbed her hands and pulled her up "Why are you laughing!" He yelled.
She stopped laughing and in a mean spiteful way she replied “To substitute for crying over you”
“Hmmm, well now I can tell this isn’t just about me.” She grabbed her stuff out of the car. “I don’t know what you are talking about”
She walked past him and grabbed the door and walked back to his room and laid her stuff down. Well she thought well little-miss-pris Lindsey forgot her phone. She opened it and went to the text messages. One, Two, Three, Four, Five messages from Tomas? She read the first one. I love you. The second one can’t wait. The third one, When? The fourth one, Want to come over? The fifth one, what’s up?
“Okay” He said as he walked into the room. “You get a new phone?’
“Yeah sure, if my name was Lindsey.”
“What! Again! Macy! I’m not cheating on you!”
“Lindsey, what’s up? Lindsey, I love you! Lindsey I can’t wait!”
“No you don’t understand” He said
“Oh I understand plenty. Goodbye Tomas.” She picked up her stuff and walked out of the house. He was following her “Macy! Macy wait!”
“No. I’m tired of waiting! Goodbye!” she got in her car started it and left. She looked in her rear view mirror, and he was standing in the middle of the street, she stopped. She heard him yell “Will you just listen?” She drove off and didn’t stop until she knew he couldn’t see her anymore. She laid her head on the steering wheel and began to cry. Out of nowhere she heard a honk and she looked up at the bright lights and blacked out.
She woke up. She couldn’t feel her body, open her eyes and her mouth wouldn’t open, But she could hear. There were two ladies talking. One sounded soft. She had a kindness in her voice and the other was hateful and short. She heard the mean one start to talk, “And her guardian?”
Following was the sweet one “No, Not yet I hear he’s on his way’ the other replied “Shouldn’t she be up by now?” She flinched trying to move again. Her eyes started to open. The sweet one said “Why hello there I guess you decided to wake up?” looking at her clipboard “Macy?” The lady was nice looking just like she sounded. Her hair was curly and her make-up was natural. She had nurse clothes on and a rag on her shoulder.
“Can you talk?” the nurse asked. She tried once again and failed. She shook her head no.
“Okay” the nurse said. “Well do you know where you are?”
She looked around and nodded her head yes.
“Good” the sweet lady said. “Do you know why?
She began to panic. Shook her head no, and closed her eyes.
Everything sort of replayed in her head, the fight, parking, and bright lights. Oh my God she thought I was in a car crash. She opened her eyes and nodded her head yes.
“Good” the nurse said “Do you know who did it?”
She shook her head no. “Well” the nurse said “I will leave that one for you to find out.” She gave her a confused look and closed her eyes. The nurse walked out. She started to think my guardian huh? To bad he’s drunk or he would probably care. A tear fell from her eye and she looked up and there stood Tomas.
“I’m so sorry” he said “I was in a hurry, I wanted to catch you! You are so important to me! I love you! I just didn’t want you to leave.”
She looked at him and closed her eyes and thought what his he saying? That he put me here? She heard him say “I didn’t know it was you! It was a freak accident.” She opened her mouth and finally got a sound “I-I a-am no-not o-ok?” She questioned. Her words were only mumbles. He began to cry. “I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry I know you’ll be okay! I promise!”
She looked at him and tears were still falling. Her throat began to hurt from all the crying. She mumbled again. “Y-you did T-this?”
He began to walk towards her. He stumbled on what seemed to be a chord that was connected to the wall. He reached for her hand. She wasn’t so sure that she wanted him near her right now. He didn’t understand how fragile she really was and she went on and let him grab her hand. She looked at her hand there was a scratch and a ring that her dad had bought her. She pulled away from his and hand and looked closely at the ring. It had a few new scratches on it. She took it off and threw it. She didn’t care where it fell. She grabbed his hand again and smiled. Behind his tears he smiled too. “Now let me explain to you why Lindsey was there.” She closed her eyes and decided she’d finally listen to what he had to say. She opened her eyes and he began to talk.
“Lindsey is in a major rut” He said.
“Aren’t we all?” She said as she rolled her eyes. “Macy” He gave her a look and she knew to stop. “Okay she said. I’m sorry go ahead”
“Well. She is having a bunch of problems with her dad. I was only there to help her. I do love her, as a friend. You mean so much to me. That’s why I act up when we get in fights because I know it’s my fault.” She looked at him “Tomas, It’s not always your fault.” Thinking to her if Lindsey can tell him why can’t I? “Tomas” She said. “I need to tell you something.” He looked at her like he was ready to get let down. “It’s about the other night. When I came over.” She started to tear up. Her hand tightened around his. His eyes started looking glossy. “My dad came home and I didn’t do what he wanted me to so he chocked me.” “Tomas” she paused. “I was so close to dying. I don’t know why he didn’t just kill me. He just started to cry and left. I don’t know anymore. I was so scared Tomas!” She began to cry louder “I was so scared” He moved his hand to her face and began to wipe her tears. “It’ll be okay. It will be okay” She knew he didn’t know if it would but him holding her and calming her down kind of made her feel like in the end it might be. There was a knock on the door. They both turned and looked. She grabbed his hand as a sign not to leave her. It was her father, if he could even be called that. “Can I talk to you alone Macy?”
“No whatever you have to say you can say in front of Tomas He knows about everything” she said. “Okay” He walked in and took a seat on the other side of the bed and put his hands on the bed. He started messing with the blanket. “Macy, we have never really talked about your mother. I think we should.” He said.
“You wait till now to tell me this? When I’m lying in a hospital bed?!”
He looked at her and for the first time in her life it looked like he honestly cared. He lowered his head on her hand. He kissed her hand and a tear fell from his face. He stood and turned for the door and walked out. “Tomas” she said. “Go and get him” He gave her an awkward look and ran for him. “Mr. Campbell come here she wants to talk to you. He followed Tomas back into the room and they both went to where they were. He stopped his tears from fallen anymore than they already had. They all stood in silence until finally Macy said “So about my mother?” He looked at her and grabbed her hand again. “Macy. It was a dark night.” His words were heavy and the look on his face was scared. “She walked in one night when I was with someone else.” Macy began to cry. She felt a pain she was sure she had never felt before. “And?” she asked “What happened?”
He started to cry even more. “I loved your mom very much!”
“Okay” she looked at him “What happened dad” As she heard herself say that she thought that’s the first time I had called him dad since she was seven. He looked at her and smiled behind his tears. ”Macy” A long pause hit the room. “I killed your mother”


CHAPTER TWO
She sat there in astonishment. “So you’re the reason I never got to know my mother?”
“Yes, Macy, my Macy. That’s why Im telling you. Im sorry. Tomas looked as if he had seen a ghost. He’d had always been petrified of Macys dad, as were most teenage boys “Scared of meeting the father” Now through it all he noticed he wasn’t scared at all. Macy looked at her “So to ease your guilt, So I can look down on you more than I already do. Wow your really a ‘smart’ man.” She said sarcasticly. “My father is a drunk cheater.” She paused. The room was silent and with the both of them staring at her she whispered “Murderer”
“No” He hasently replied “ Its not like that”
“Oh really? Its not? Then what is it?” He got up and head in hands and starting walking away. He turned back to see that she wasn’t accepting to the news and turned forward and walked out. The nurse walked in. “Visiting time is over” Tomas looked at Macy. “Well?’’ She looked at the nurse. “Could he stay?”
She shook her head and smiled “Yea, Just between us though”




THAT’S AS FAR AS IVE GOTTEN SO FAR….IMPUT PLLLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEEEE

Current Location: Uhh. at the computer?
Current Mood: hmmm?
Current Music: Pink!

Hey guys.
I finished ch 1 of my AMAZING story!!


You have to ask to hear it though.

Im offically SINGLE. The jerk was all like byebye. lol.
O well Im really happy about it.
I miss nate.
Im at school. :)
I havent been able to do anything, MY jerk dad grounded me sooo YEA.
How is everyone else.
I need more friends on this!

This is the only blog that works at school.
I hope everyone is doing GREAT.
Hiiii!!!

Well..hello again.
I have ONE friend right now..Im doing good lol.
I had one of the WORST nights of my life last night."So Far" Im sure my life will get worse.
So I got my hair done and it looks pretty good. So I was all like I wanna show it off lol :) Normal girl....Well I went to my BEST friend Skippers and Jordan was there. He is the guy that keeps playing her. I dont like him.I more or less told him I didnt want him there and he left..So I was going to go show my "Quote on Quote" Boyfriend my hair with Skipper. So We decided to go to my friend Jeremys and see if he wanted to see Him too. And he did. BUT jordan was there he was like the B*T*C*E*S are here and I was like how rude. Just because I didnt want him giving Skipper false hope. Well He was yelling in my face You a F*U*C*I*N* B*T*C* and I never liked you I was just nice to you because Ryan ("Quote on Quote" Boyfriend) Was all in my face tellin me i should Die. It was BAD ..


Well Now you all know my bad story..And Ryan had to hear his side too...
I mean if I guy loves you SOOOOO much why would he be friends with people that hurt your feelings??!! Thats strange to me.

Okay I guess Ill go..I had a better day today though. LoL. I went to my brothers B-Day party that was fun lol...

<3 Renee' Jean

Hello...
This is my first entry!
Ummmm..I am Renee' i am the coolest person youll ever meet. Just kidding. I am easy going ang I like to think Im a good writer.
My day was pretty good. I hung out with my best friend Skipper. Shes always a blast. LJ is very confusing to me. So if ANYONE would like to help me out lol. That would be AmAzInG!
Love,
Renee'

Current Location: Home.
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Shiny Toy Guns